Time, financial constraints, and school policy prevented us from creating and distributing copies of the culminating alternative course guide to the student body; moreover, we cannot host much of our documentation from the day or actual lessons themselves.

Despite these difficulties, the cube nevertheless seems to have been a success: we couldn’t dismantle in a day the larger system of academic advancement of which cheating is part; however, for many students, the cube did provide a fun space in which to consider the broader constellation of cheating–peer and parental pressure, extra-curricular activities and obligations, advanced placement courses, honor rolls, and college admissions.

While we cannot reproduce the lessons themselves, we have preserved an exhaustive list of their titles to give you a sense of the range of interests expressed, grouping them into nine categories: Sport & Game, Phantasy, Math & Science, Languages & Culture, The Culinary Arts, Life Skills, Nihilism, Music, and Arts & Crafts.  Two students also taught us a bit about ourselves: “How to get TDAR HQ via mapquest” (!!!) and “How to talk like James.”

Sport & Game

How to kick a soccer ball

How to ripstick

How to build a chicken coop

How to erg

How to karate chop a pineapple in half

How to herd sheep with a cattle dog

How to milk a cow

How to access “Halo” from the school network

How to tie a pointe shoe

How to jump a horse

How to cheer

How to play volleyball

How to juggle a soccerball

How to set up an above ground pool

How to kill “Glass Joe” in “Punchout”

How to make a penalty kick

How to scull and sweep when rowing

How to lose your star pitcher but still have fun at softball

Why sports help relieve stress/why we should play sports

How to play midfield in soccer

How to type without looking at the keyboard

How to do a roll tack while sailing

How to play “Wow”

How to “snake” someone in FIFA

How to play “Starcraft”

How to Irish Dance

How to piggyback ride on someone

How to not get checked in ice hockey

How to crab successfully

How to stack your legs on a one-on-one to clear a ball

Why Lebron is awesome

How to perform the rainbow maneuver with a soccer ball

How to operate a firearm

How to run a 400

How to get a “headshot” in “Halo”

How to play “Heli Attack 2” in class

How to play the card game war

How to dive

How to rockclimb

How to jump

Why the Steelers are the best team

How to “psyche out” someone in Tennis

How to be stealthy while playing airsoft

How to win at squash

Exhaustive diagramming & lexicon of rowing

Why are some sports more respected than others

How to get dressed for horse-riding

How to jump a horse

How to run a marathon (in 13 detailed steps)

How to solve a Rubik’s Cube using algorithms

How to breakdance in six steps

How to play 4square

How to get killer abs

How to throw a softball

Phantasy

How to spot an alien (Aliens 101)

What to do if your dad’s birthday is on the apocalypse (12/12/2012)

The 5 New Facts of Life

How to spot a vampire

How to catch a Pokémon

How to see into an alternate dimension via self-reflection

How to read palms

How to draw a three-legged penguin cooking a hot dog with its vision

How to be ridiculous (by drawing a three-legged penguin cooking a hot dog with its vision)

How to spot Rorschach from “Watchmen”

Math & Science

The basic nomenclature of Organic Chemistry

How to write the formula for the eccentricity of a hyperbolais

What E = mc2 means

How to study math

How to draw a unit circle (I can’t believe the knowledge of how to do this used to be in my head, it looks so complicated)

Fun facts about the Titanic (Those who forget the past are doomed etc.)

How to factor trinomials (the British way!)

How to convert from grams to moles

How to reduce a fraction

Why one should write a novel in 30 days

How to draw conic sections of the hyperbola (this lesson dedicated to a particular Math teacher)

How to calculate the derivation for the volume of a u sphere

How to multiply “things” by 91 using your hands (“things” =  1-10

How to write in AP style

How to write the square root of 2

How to text message during school

How to know my friend’s middle name

Languages & Culture

How to pronounce various words in a British accent

How to write in cursive

A list of languages I’d like to learn

How to conjugate –er verbs in French

How to draw a Celtic knot

How to remember bird calls using pneumonic devices

How to enjoy and explore Scotland

How to say a few useful phrases in Chinese

How to say “Do you speak French?” in Chinese

How to write sentences using emotions with differing pronouns in Spanish

How to navigate Taipei public transit (MRT)

The ins and outs of Iceland (basic language, family names, relation to Greenland)

How to write and pronounce the word “dog” in Russian

How to translate AIM/text message lingo into standard English

How to see everything you need to see when you visit Israel

How to say a name in Sign Language

How to assume a British accent

How to say “hello” and “goodbye” in Russian

How to use reflexive verbs in Italian

A primer on Confucian Wisdom

How to wrap a sari

How to express hunger and thirst in German

How to differentiate Swiss German from High German

Pt. II: How to deal with Swiss people

How to count to ten in French

Why Chinese hegemony necessitates a study of the Chinese language

How to say the days of the week and basic greetings in Italian

The Culinary Arts

Why potato wedges are the best food ever

How to eat like a champion!

How to get the best pizza

How to make the best food/snack using banana slices, peanut butter, caramel, and rice cakes

How to appreciate a Philly Pretzel Factory pretzel

How to bum gum

How to make a bowl of cereal

How to make sunflower cupcakes

How to eat delicious food

How to make a PB & J

How to make mac & cheese

Why not to eat a Bic Mac

Life Skills

How to cheat

How to buy more stuff (you don’t need) with your money

How to create young talent

How to hide bad grades

How to get out of minor arrests

How to perform a high five

How to win at Life (the game)

Algae biofuel 101

How to get into college

How to be me

How to follow a band

How to listen to your ipod in class

How to guarantee a good grade on a test

How to be a jerk

How to dress well

How to be cool

How to perform the paperclip-copier prank

How to write a research essay

How to work a cash register at my job

How to get out of a parking ticket after parking in an illegal zone

How to identify WWII planes

My pet bird 101

How to draw a family tree

How to do a secret handshake (Top Secret)

How to spend $1.5 million on a cow at auction

How to intern for a congressperson (do’s and don’ts)

My favorite movies

How to set your friend up on a date

How to make bad small talk

The Brain (cortex, cerebellum, reptilian brain)

How to navigate our school

How to sneak out…when you live on a boat

Dishonesty: A Sampling of Methods

How to come up with an idea

How to talk to your computer

How to tell people off when they disrespect you!

How to get to Patty Mac’s Restaurant

How to tie toe shoes correctly

How to drive in the student parking lot

How to like school

How to study

How to have fun on the weekend

How to go shopping

How to incorporate weird clothes in your outfits

How to be a winner

How to always have something to say

How to work the school spotlight (identified by a female name)

How to scare off dates

How to tape stuff on this girl’s back

How to survive math class

How to talk

How to get away with wearing a hat in school

How to be bad with style

How to cram

How to sell your clothes and get $

How to be a dork (and enjoy it!!)

How to piss off teachers in 5 minutes

How to pass AP European History

How to park in the school parking lot

How to navigate a concert

How to say the alphabet backwards in less than 20 secs

How to tell a secret

How to cross your eyes

How to keep gum and other foods away from others

How to cut class

How to get through a school day with PB & J

How to date in high school

How to know rock + roll

How to be a hipster

How to stalk a friend on facebook

How to smoke a cigarette

How to be prepared

Nihilism

How to walk

How to scare away pedophiles

How to not be good at anything

AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa

How to tie your shoes

How to be the biggest tool

How to stay in bed for 24 hours

How to walk

How to remove socks

How to create awkward silence

How to sleep

How to sleep

How to purchase spray paint

How to maintain laziness

How to open a bottle of water

How to act on impulse

How to fail

Music

How to play music (F#)

How to sing

How to make a piano music video

How to read guitar tabs

How to know if you are a singer

The pentatonic scale

How to distinguish a baritone from a tuba

How to play the B-flat scale on the tuba

Arts & Crafts

How to weave a string

How to make a paper boat

How to make a knot ring

How to make a movie without a storyboard

The necessity of an art break

How to write impromptu JAM-fest poetry

How to draw a head with proper proportions

How to play an improve acting game

How to draw a peace sign

How to draw a fist

How to write the alphabet in block letters

How to make lip blam

How to foxtrot

How to make a hemp bracelet

How to draw a mouse

How to make an origami heart

How to draw a simple maze

How to be a good photographer

How to make a bowl on a pottery wheel

How to make people’s faces funny with hands

Doodling 101

How to draw dogs

How to draw a teddybear

How to take black & white photos

How to make prints